


you don't have to say you're mine

by bucksreyes



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, One Shot, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21764578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucksreyes/pseuds/bucksreyes
Summary: An alternate ending to 3x09, or how it should have gone.Eddie gives him a perplexed look. He doesn’t know why Buck wants to reopen this wound. He would much rather forget it ever happened and just keep living his life. He and Buck were friends again––not that they had ever stopped being friends, but now they were back to being the kind of friends who could share anything with each other.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 11
Kudos: 271





	you don't have to say you're mine

After dinner, Eddie follows Buck into the kitchen, helping him clear the table.

“So she shoots him and then takes him back?” He asks, continuing their earlier conversation now that they are out of Chris’s earshot. He puts the plates he was carrying in the sink and turns to see Buck taking some beers out of the fridge.

Buck opens a beer and places it on the counter for Eddie before opening one for himself. “Yeah.”

“I thought my marriage was complicated.” Eddie says, turning towards Buck. “How’s your sister taking it?” He picks up his beer and leans against the counter by the sink.

Buck leans against the island, holding his beer. “It’s, uh, it’s kinda rough on her. I think she thought she could save Tara from Vincent, but now she’s realizing that you can’t save someone from themselves. Not if they don’t want it.”

Eddie takes a swig of his beer, “Ain’t that the truth.”

“Especially if you… aren’t around to see that they need saving.” Buck gives Eddie a meaningful look and Eddie gets a feeling he isn’t talking about his sister anymore.

He looks up at Buck, understanding washing over his features. He has an idea of where this is going and he is sick and tired of talking about it. He’d been looking forward to a relaxing evening and talking about his issues with Buck definitely wasn’t part of the plan. Talking about his feelings wasn’t one of Eddie’s strong suits or something that he enjoyed, especially not now, but he doesn’t react fast enough to stop Buck from continuing.

Buck meets his eyes. “Look. I’m sorry. I wasn’t there, Eddie. You and Chris needed me and I had my head so far up my own behind with that stupid lawsuit.”

Eddie interrupts, finding his voice. He shakes his head, putting a hand out and waving it to stop Buck. “We’re way past that, Buck.” And he means it.

Buck takes a step forward, as stubborn as always. “I’m not.”

Eddie gives him a perplexed look. He doesn’t know why Buck wants to reopen this wound. He would much rather forget it ever happened and just keep living his life. He and Buck were friends again—not that they ever stopped being friends, but now they were back to being the kind of friends who could share anything with each other. It had taken nearly losing Buck’s friendship for him to realize Buck was his best friend. Which is why he doesn’t want to keep talking about their past, not when it could ruin their future.

“I should’ve been there.” Buck turns away, looking down at the counter, overwhelmed with the sudden onslaught of emotions. He had been holding this in a long time and he needed to get it all out now, when he had the chance. “Maybe I could’ve,” he turns to look at Eddie, “talked some sense into you.”

Eddie lets out of a huff of laughter, more out of surprise than humour. “Talked some sense into me? That’d been interesting.” he takes another sip of beer, mostly to stop himself from saying something he couldn’t take back. Like sharing the fact that Buck would be the last person to talk some sense into him, and it wouldn’t have mattered if he’d tried, because Eddie forgot all sense when it came to Buck. There was something about him that made Eddie incapable of rational thought.

“Could’ve told you not to buy that truck.” Buck said through his teeth.

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, nodding. “You would’ve talked me into buying something more expensive.” He throws Buck a pointed look, eyebrows raised, daring him to convince him otherwise.

Buck screws up his face. “Yeah, fair point.”

Eddie stretches out his arm, the one holding the beer, in what he hopes is an appeasing gesture. “Look, things got a little out of hand, for both of us. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

Buck’s eyebrows pull together. “Why, cause, you’d rather do it?” he straightens up from where he had been leaning on the counter with his elbows and takes another step toward Eddie.

“Excuse me?” He isn’t sure what Buck is implying.

“C’mon, Eddie. If you’re not gonna be honest with Frank,” he takes another step. “At least be honest with me.”

“Who said I wasn’t being honest with Frank?” Eddie feels defensive, suddenly. It’s starting to feel less and less like a conversation and more like a fight. You’d think that would make Eddie feel more at ease, since he’s always been better at the latter than the former, but if he’s being honest, he doesn’t want to fight Buck.

“You said,” Buck replies, “that you two weren’t clicking,” heavily emphasizing the last word.

“Maybe i’m just not a therapy kind of guy.” Eddie takes another sip of beer, annoyed.

Buck looks away. “Right, right. You prefer to,” he mimics a boxer’s posture, deepening his voice, “work it out in the ring.” he smirks at Eddie, his body language returning to normal.

“There was no ring, Buck,” Eddie corrects, his mouth folding into a self-deprecating smile. At least they can joke about it now. “There was a fence.”

Buck laughs. “C’mon,” he looks at Eddie, still smiling. “You don’t think,” his smile fades, “while you were going through your phase, just maybe, you were throwing your punches at the wrong guy?”

He sounds confident at first, but he almost trails off near the end, his voice getting softer.

Eddie smiles, but it’s more of a baring of his teeth than a real smile. “Seriously? You’re gonna make it about you?” He points at Buck. “Again.”

He shakes his head, frowning. He can’t quite resist the urge to roll his eyes, despite the fact that Buck isn’t entirely wrong. There might be some truth in his claim. Maybe Buck was making it about him, maybe it had been about Buck the entire time. Not that Eddie would admit it. He didn’t need to feed Buck’s ego. He isn’t sure who he is more annoyed with, Buck or himself.

“I’m just saying, you were pretty pissed.”

Eddie turns his head to the side, trying to ignore Buck’s baiting.

“You know I thought for sure that day in the grocery store you were gonna take a swing at me.”

Eddie quickly turns to look at Buck, surprised that he would even consider that a possibility. Yeah, he had been angry, and he’d had every right to be, and maybe a small part of wanted to see that Buck was hurting just as much he was, but he would never be the one to hurt him. At least, he didn’t want to be.

“Not that you didn’t deserve it, he says, even as he shakes his head vehemently. “But I wouldn’t do that. You’re on blood thinners.” he adds quickly, taking a sip of his beer.

Eddie needs Buck to know that he would never hurt him, but he’s not good at being vulnerable. He hopes the joke about blood thinners doesn’t mask the emotions behind his words, but he also hopes he hasn’t said too much. If Buck calls him on it, he doesn’t know what he’ll do.

“Hmm,” Buck drinks his beer. “I’d still take you.”

He throws Buck a challenging look, relieved he didn’t comment on Eddie’s aversion to fighting him. “You think so?”

“I know.” Buck pushes off the counter and walks over to Eddie, closing the distance between them.

Before he really registers what’s happening, he feels Buck’s lips on his. He stands frozen in shock at first, beer still in his hand, unable to believe this is happening. If he’d been paying attention, he would’ve seen the way Buck had been looking at him all night, the way Buck kept approaching him as if he were drawn to him. If he’d been paying attention, he would have been less focussed on hiding his feelings behind quips and more focussed on the way Buck was fixated on apologizing to Eddie. It’s clear he wanted to be sure they were both truly past what had happened, but Eddie didn’t realize why until this moment.

He blindly places his bottle in the sink, wrapping his arms around Buck, who had paused, unsure of himself when Eddie didn’t react right away. Buck starts kissing him again, encouraged by the feel of Eddie’s arms on his back, cupping Eddie’s face with his hands.

Eddie loses himself in the feeling of kissing Buck. It was something he had never consciously considered before, but in many ways, it felt right. It was like everything had been building to this. All of his anger, his pain—he wasn’t sure why he was feeling so on edge the last few months. It wasn’t Shannon—he came to terms with that some time ago. It wasn’t Chris—he's the best kid Eddie could have asked for. Now he could see what he was trying so hard not to think about. It was Buck. It had always been Buck.

Maybe he wasn’t sitting around fantasizing about making out with him, but he was starting to rely more and more on Buck. He became a constant in Eddie’s life, someone he could trust with anything, from taking care of Chris, to cheering him up after a bad day. He considered Buck his best friend, but, maybe it was only because he wasn’t willing to consider the possibility that he had feelings for Buck. Or he was afraid that if he did, there was no way that Buck would feel the same.

And yet. Here they are. In Buck’s kitchen, kissing each other like they’ve never kissed anyone in their lives. Eddie desperately wants to know what this means. Does Buck feel what Eddie feels, or is this just another reckless decision? He needs to know, but he doesn’t want to be the one to break the kiss. If this is his only chance to do this, he wants to make the most of it.

He’s so caught up in the moment, his hands tugging at the material of Buck’s shirt to press his hands into the smooth skin of his back, he manages to tune out the sound of the television altogether. It isn’t until he has a brief second of clarity when he remembers where they are. In Buck’s kitchen. With Christopher just down the hall.

He pushes away from Buck, who looks at him, confused and a little hurt at being shoved away unceremoniously.

“What?” Buck questions, shaking his head, looking a little dazed. He fixes the hem of his shirt, waiting for Eddie to say something.

“Christopher,” is all Eddie says, a little embarrassed by how breathless he sounds.

“Oh shit.” Buck’s face pales slightly and they both turn at the same time to look at the living room, where Chris is sitting on the couch, blissfully oblivious, watching tv.

Eddie leans back onto the counter, rubbing a hand over his face. He looks over at Buck. “Should we, talk about this?”

“Oh, now you want to talk?” Buck says, his eyes on Eddie’s mouth.

This time, Eddie doesn’t even try to resist the urge to roll his eyes.

“We can talk later. We’ve got time.” Buck tilts his head toward Chris and the television, his smile turning into a smirk. “You wanna go for the title?”

“Buck…” Eddie starts, feeling like he shouldn’t drop this so easily, but he knows now isn’t the time, not with Chris only a few steps away. “You really think you have a chance?”

Eddie raises his eyebrows at Buck, looking over his shoulder as he walks toward the tv. “Hey Chris, Buck thinks he can win this round. Ready to show him how wrong he is?”

He sits down next to Chris on the couch and they both dissolve into laughter.

Buck follows Eddie and sits down on Chris’ other side. “You’re laughing now…”

Eddie glances at Buck over Chris’ head and Buck gives him a small smile.After a second, he smiles back at him and he has that feeling of rightness in his chest, like this is where he’s meant to be. He turns to the screen, but he can feel Buck’s eyes linger on him, and he feels hopeful for the future, something he hasn’t felt in a long time.


End file.
